Our days in Guangzhou

We’ve been in Guangzhou 5+ days now.  Tomorrow we start our trip home!  (24 hours worth of traveling, so we’d appreciate your prayers through this!)

Maryelle’s sweet smiles get us through the roller coaster days.  We are quickly learning that this is not a sprint.  Slow and steady wins the race.  Four years of negative learned behavior, four years of little to no nurturing and love.  Change doesn’t happen overnight.  But by God’s grace not only will Maryelle’s life be changed, but so will ours.

So what have we learned about Miss Maryelle in this past week and a half?  Yes, she has lots of obstacles to overcome, but this girl is so ready to be loved.  She is holding on tight and soaking in every ounce that Andy and I give her.  Last night we were going through photos of the kids trying to get her used to seeing their faces.  She actually repeated their names!  Now this is huge because she hardly has any understandable sounds.  And sure, their names weren’t clear, but it’s a start!  The orphanage described her as sweet, active, loving and stubborn.  So far this is pretty accurate!  She has a spunky personality and is really quite comical. 

We’ve had a really busy schedule of activities while we’ve been in Guangzhou.  Maryelle has experienced more in the last 5 days than her entire life!  She has done very well with being on the go and likes being in her stroller taking in everything around her.  We’re (more than) ready now to get home and get settled into real life!  For our family to finally be together!!  This transition will pose new fears and adjustments for her (and all of us), but these next few weeks will be the foundation for building her understanding of a family.  A FAMILY.  A hope.  A future.  We can’t wait to see what God has in store. 

Orphanage visit

We've only begun to process our visit to Maryelle's orphanage. The Yinghang Children's Institution in the Anhui province. It's extreme poverty in this area. Since Maryelle was abandoned on the steps of the institution at 8 months, it is likely that the family could not afford medical care for her. It's unfathomable to think of having to make that choice. But her family loved her enough to give her the chance to live. 

My mind is still reeling from this brief glimpse into my daughter's world. A small room with 8 special needs children, one nanny, 8 cribs lining the walls and one toy. The hallways held children who were wandering, looking for something that wouldn't be found. There was an activity room that held a small pile of toys on the floor and a few tables where some basic schooling is done. There is nothing past kindergarten. There are no books. 

We learned that Maryelle's nanny (since her arrival) is uneducated and speaks poor Mandarin with a heavy local dialect. We were told that her main communication with the kids was just to give commands for eating, sleeping etc. It is no wonder that Maryelle doesn't have even basic Chinese language; she was never engaged enough to use it. 

I could go on, but will share more about the orphanage at another time. 

Maryelle clung to Andy and I the entire time. She didn't want to smile, she didn't even want to be put down. She had that same panicked look in her eyes that we saw on her Gotcha Morning. She didn't want to be left there ever again. This week has been difficult, and all sorts of thoughts have gone through our minds about this calling that God put on our lives. But Andy and I walked out of that broken and dark pit with the clarity that this child's life is to be redeemed and that God is using us in the greater story that He has purposed. 

We were able to take a suitcase filled with stuffed animals and toys for the kids, plus apples for everyone. We were told that this was better than a holiday for the children and it would be a day they would never forget. So little to us, so big to them. 

Working on attachment

It’s Andy here tonight with the update. It’s Wednesday evening, and we are settling down.    It continues to be a roller coaster process, yet there have been more highs than lows, especially today.   First off, we really haven’t enjoyed Hefei and really look forward to moving one to our final stage in Guangzhou.   Sleep is coming easy to Maryelle and I, yet Ellen struggling to settle her mind with the many challenges ahead.  There surely are many hurdles for Maryelle with both mind and body.   Not only is balance an issue with her CP, but we recognize other physical and emotional, issues to be addressed.  As for cognitive, we guess she is likely at 1 ½-2 years old.    Maryelle has displayed minimal vocabulary but each day we are hearing a little more of her voice.  She loves to play, be tickled, and loves to ride in the stroller.  

Maryelle continues to attach well to both Ellen and I.   She loves to hold our hands during walks, always checks that we are both around, and loves to give us smiles while others get a serious stare.   As for food, there is nothing she has pushed aside.  Not only the local fare, she has gained acceptance to cold milk, McDonalds hamburger / chicken nuggets / French fries, Subway’s Spicy Italian sub (Flottmeyer favorite) including chipotle dressing, and of course ice cream.   Ellen will concur; she’s already agreed that all ice cream needs to be taste tested by dad.   It’s a good standard to start early 😊.  

My mentor Roger and I reviewed a chapter titled “Of four things which bring great peace” from Thomas A Kempis’s, The Imitation of Christ.   A line that caught my reflection went:  “Wish always and pray that the will of God be fulfilled in thee”.    My journey over the past 20 years as a Christ follower was to look through scripture to see God’s will and walk in obedience.  The “wish always” seemed to be out of context.  Through this adoption journey, I’ve wished for many “good” things: a quick adoption process, clarity on choosing our adoptive child, a smooth transition to our family, a deeper understanding of the redemption story, Maryelle’s profession of faith in Jesus, and on and on.   Many things I’ve wished…..and some have occurred, some are still to come, and others have failed.   Or have they failed?   What we expect to be the results don’t always mean fulfillment.   A child has been pulled from a dark and broken place, and life will never be the same for me.   As I told Ellen today, I’m thankful for this journey and God’s will that’s being fulfilled in my life and my family.

Gotcha Day!

Well today was the day. One less orphan. One more precious daughter.  Maryelle has never been out of her orphanage or seen strangers. She was SO scared. When we first tried to hold her, it set off a crying, screaming fit for the rest of our time there. It was really difficult. Andy had to carry her crying and flailing to the car. But then we began to sing to her and that settled her down. We've stayed in the hotel room for most of the day. She has begun to attach to both of us and we're getting smiles pretty freely. She loved hair 'pretties', a light up toothbrush, ball and food. You can tell that she's never had enough. I'll describe her more in the coming days. We appreciate your prayers. These are challenging days. 

1st stop= Beijing!

After 23 hours of travel, we arrived in Beijing on Thursday. Wow, what a city! We took these extra few days as opportunity to get over jet lag before getting Maryelle and to also experience and understand her homeland better. We've had a personal guide who has been wonderful and who has taught us much about Chinese history and culture in a brief time. The Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square, and the Summer Palace were amazing. Yet in all of our travels, there has been nothing like the wonder of the Great Wall of China. It truly was magnificent and breath taking. Literally breath taking with lots of very steep climbing!  In the evenings, we've explored the city by walking and finding markets and trying to take in as many sights and sounds as possible. It's been remarkable. 
And the best is yet to come! In less than 48 hours Maryelle Nian Grace will be ours!!  On Sunday morning we take the bullet train from Beijing to Hefei where we will be united with Maryelle on Monday morning!  We appreciate your prayers for Maryelle-specifically that she would not be filled with fear on Gotcha Day. Thx!

Why we say yes...

We're finally at a one-hand countdown = FIVE days til we leave for China!!
 I'm often asked the 'WHY?' behind our decision to adopt. This blog article by No Hands But Ours sums it up in words that I can never seem to so eloquently find.
..."we take our small, mustard seed size faith, combine it with what we know to be true about God, and say yes.
We say yes because the call is whispered, or downright shouted, into our hearts.
We say yes because we have love to give.
We say yes because we prefer front row seats to God’s miracle work.
We say yes because we walk by faith, even when the future makes us quiver.
...we say YES. Yes to a lifetime of unqualified yeses. 
Yes to moving forward in our smallness and God’s bigness."
Read the rest of the article at- http://www.nohandsbutours.com/2015/03/24/yes/