Orphanage visit

We've only begun to process our visit to Maryelle's orphanage. The Yinghang Children's Institution in the Anhui province. It's extreme poverty in this area. Since Maryelle was abandoned on the steps of the institution at 8 months, it is likely that the family could not afford medical care for her. It's unfathomable to think of having to make that choice. But her family loved her enough to give her the chance to live. 

My mind is still reeling from this brief glimpse into my daughter's world. A small room with 8 special needs children, one nanny, 8 cribs lining the walls and one toy. The hallways held children who were wandering, looking for something that wouldn't be found. There was an activity room that held a small pile of toys on the floor and a few tables where some basic schooling is done. There is nothing past kindergarten. There are no books. 

We learned that Maryelle's nanny (since her arrival) is uneducated and speaks poor Mandarin with a heavy local dialect. We were told that her main communication with the kids was just to give commands for eating, sleeping etc. It is no wonder that Maryelle doesn't have even basic Chinese language; she was never engaged enough to use it. 

I could go on, but will share more about the orphanage at another time. 

Maryelle clung to Andy and I the entire time. She didn't want to smile, she didn't even want to be put down. She had that same panicked look in her eyes that we saw on her Gotcha Morning. She didn't want to be left there ever again. This week has been difficult, and all sorts of thoughts have gone through our minds about this calling that God put on our lives. But Andy and I walked out of that broken and dark pit with the clarity that this child's life is to be redeemed and that God is using us in the greater story that He has purposed. 

We were able to take a suitcase filled with stuffed animals and toys for the kids, plus apples for everyone. We were told that this was better than a holiday for the children and it would be a day they would never forget. So little to us, so big to them.